waiting

written 2/6/20:

i’ve spent alot of time waiting on people throughout my lifetime. waiting on a phone call. waiting on a decision. waiting on them to pick me up...for hours. waiting on a visit that never came. waiting on an answer. waiting on them to get there. waiting on them to show up. waiting for a change. waiting on them to come back home...& they didnt. waiting for the right words. waiting on the right time. waiting for their car to pull in my driveway. waiting for a mind change. waiting til they finish their drink. waiting til we get there. waiting for them to speak to me. waiting for a check. waiting for understanding. waiting to see what happens. waiting til it makes me cry and i finally lose hope. but while i have waited through the years, i learned to wait patiently & i didnt even know it. i waited quietly and optimistically even when it was foolish. i waited alone and in my thoughts and prayers. and now i realize that in those times i gained wisdom and understanding. because i also see that i was never alone and that God waited with me. and He knew exactly what i was waiting for. who i was waiting for. and why. i am thankful that the waiting is over. now i dont wait. i rest.