throwback journal entry from 1/6/2010

1/6/10 wednesday 1:20pm

I woke up early this am ~0600 or so. {my husband} texted no school again. i wanted to go back to sleep, so i laid there a while and heard him leave for work. as i lay there, i started thinking of words and a melody. words & feelings & scenarios of past prayer experiences starting popping up everywhere. i thought, "i need to write this down because it's really good and i'll forget it if i don't". so i layed there a little longer, thinking some more. and finally i got my pen & notebook that sits on my nightstand - no, i don't keep it there for "inspirational moments" such as these - it's an old diet notebook or something. anyhow, i began to write down the words that were flowing in my head. it was still dark, but i could see a little bit. i'm excited about it, because it's something new for me. maybe i'll try to write a song. i can write, i know i can - with the grace of God, that is. sometimes when i go back through this journal, i think, "man, that's pretty good writing". of course that's my own opinion because i'm the only one ever reading it! but the words i wrote this am were Holy Spirit and my spirit together. after i wrote them down, i was in tears. tears of thankfulness and tears of emotion. the love of God - His love for me and for us moves me so. i rose up and prayed a prayer of thankfulness. i went back to sleep and woke up about 9:15.

(the song/poem i wrote)

to be in this moment

here in Your Presence

things become distant

and sound fades away

i knock at Your door

and it gently opens

i see You smiling

and hear my name

my soul floods in love

my heart overwhelms me

the tears stream down

in rapturing joy

your love overtakes me

i feel You all around me

our spirits entwined

You're so beautiful

just to be here

just to be in this place

just to be with You

is all i need

You wrap Your arms around me

it's like nothing i've known

Your love's inside me

don't let it end

i need this so badly

my broken heart is mending

You touch my face softly

and wipe the tears away

You say my name again

the sound is so beautiful

and i hear You say

"I am here. always."

(and now i'm crying all over again!)